That is the difference between the singles and the ones in relationships !
See I know people that work hard to Keep a man and I see some work harder at the first bit. That is to GET a man.
My take on this is, it’s like there are some people that start with a sprint and run out of energy and abandon the race. Then there are some people that are just so powerful in the middle of the race and they just have greater longevity, they seem to get stronger as the race progresses and they have the ability to see the race through.
This is my little analogy of the singles and the ones who aren’t
Which one do you think you are ?
The thing about it is you have to look realistically at the race. Are you looking for a short, quick sprint? Sprints are good right, or are you looking for a marathon, a long hard, extremely long achievement? You have to plan your race though, make sure you’re fit, and make sure you’re prepared mentally for that particular race. Like which person just takes on a marathon on a whim ? You have to have a cause and know that you’re in the right place at that time in your life to handle all the pressure.
Some girls want the marathon/marriage and you look at them and think mmm … she should still be in training. She’s talking about the big leagues but like you being the very knowledgeable by-stander you turn up at the marathons. You cheer for them and say go for it, we wish you well! Because you know every losing team still has its supporters. That’s what friends are for ultimately. You know when it’s time to shut up and be back up and you know when to call a person out.
If you are not ready for the marathon, don’t fake it girl it’s not meant for all of us. A few sprints should get us ready for the big time marathon some day. Train at your own pace, I’m a proud sprinter and a little bit of cross country but a marathon. We can’t all claim to be ready for a marathon. Have you seen the sad injured people that try the race ill prepared ? We still kind of admire the fact that they were brave enough to take a leap of faith but we feel pity more than anything else. They didn’t train, they were not ready, their body took it hard they look horrid and exhausted and in such pain. That’s the difference between the sprinter and the marathon runners know your threshold !
Things are always good in the beginning when the romance is good and the chemistry is high. But if you want to find out what your partner is really like see how he behaves, and notice the things he says when you are fighting. How respectful does he remain when you are at opposite ends. The true reflection of the longevity and sustainability of any relationship is how much of the ying and yang, the good and the bad of the man you are comfortable enough to deal with. Things get bad when you fight right? So look at how he fights.
- He involves his friends when we fight…
Oh no , there is nothing worse than the type of person who has to bring in his best friend or some third party into what is between two grown people. Now you are working through a mediator that has their back. I hope you like and respect his friends otherwise girl your battle is long and hard. His need to involve his rat pack probably means that there is little about your relationship they don't know. His inability to be independent of his friends will hurt you more than it will support you.
- He involves his family when we fight…
Basically you have to deal with his family thinking you’re stubborn, and family is always the worst because they now his dirty laundry but they expect you to deal with it because you’re with him. Best thing you could do is not let them run all over you, but don’t break bonds because blood is thicker than any fine water! You can never get away from family. So if that's how you plan to solve your problems make it balanced , private and planned. There are horror stories about the family meeting ambush.
- He is abusive when we fight…
I’m sorry why are you with a man that is abusing you? Get some self respect you teach a person how to treat you meaning what? Just as much as he may have issues, you need help because so do you.
- He runs to his ex when we fight…
I have heard of the backslider the one that is spotted with the ex, calls the ex, booty calls the ex and cannot understand that he makes a bad situation worse. By adding a pile of additional drama, you can’t fix this one –leave the fight, best just move on sister.
- He goes MIA (missing in action) when we fight…
He doesn’t take your calls. He doesn’t respond to your messages. He totally avoids all contact with you. Girl you’re in trouble but the good thing is he is cooling off. I have respect for the MIA fighter because I am the MIA fighter myself, no words no actions just give the person space to continue to live without you or to reappear when they are willing to hash things out in civil manner (as much as civil is possible in fights that is)
- He stalks me when we fight…
Girl, that’s how people end up dead and on the news, get your butt as far as distant as possible. That aint love just a lot of crazy.
In as much as I don’t love fights, I love fights because they do reveal some very important areas of a person’s character. So I wish you successful discoveries from your fights in future. Now don't be telling your friends thinking they got your back about stuff that don't involve them. If you want him to be respectful enough to not be involving his friends, family and some third party in your fights do yourself a favour and don't make it girl talk with your friends not unless you want everybody involved in your business.
