Friday, July 30, 2010

Does flirting on Face book count as cheating?

I don’t know whether one can count the outright facebook flirtation as cheating. Certainly one would assume any boyfriend would know that like any good girlfriend we spend a good length of time thoroughly trackingtheir comments on facebook. I get to know who all his friends are, who all the women that regularly comment are. It’s like my little spy tool. I watch all the moves he makes all the things he says and if at all I didn’t hear from him that day. I don’t act like some nervous needy girlfriend I just open and check if he has posted anything on facebook. If he has had enough time to post a status update and he hasn’t had the good sense to make some sort of contact with me first at all that day. I make a note decide if I want to play the part of the crazy girlfriend but usually I am satisfied to know that I at least have some idea of how his day has been so far and what small thing occupied his thoughts that day.

It confuses me though when he flirts, I think to myself does he know I can read this little comment he posted on her status. Now I don’t know her, okay but that’s not the point because I track his comments whether I am her facebook friend or not. And better yet he can’t say it’s his cousin.

Facebook is two sided; who regularly comments on his status without fail and whose status does he usually take the time to comment on.

Now the investigator in me, because I’m built like that will look at the regular female commenter‘s and will be aware of who he talks about or brings into conversation. Whether it’s a work colleague, a neighbour, a friend’s sister – all those names form a data base in my head. I check those names against the regular commenter’s on his facebook and like any woman I check those against the things I find on his phone including the all-essential -phone log. Why check the messages, any cheater deletes that first it’s the call log that reveals the most essential information. I don’t know why guys always forget to delete the call log.

This is done all as a measure to see if I really do have a reason to suspect foul play over his facebook flirtations because I am unwilling to degrade myself to the degree where I say “why did you say *wink wink* on so-and-so’s status. Why did you call her sweety”, because you play it cool, if you’ve been in the game a good measure you know to always play it cool. Who wants their boyfriend thinking they have some big brother *I’m watching you*version of a girlfriend. But honestly I am watching you!!! So until 1 + 1 =2 it’s all good but I better not put a sum together that says you’re with someone else * evil LOL*!!!!


  1. Mbali Dhlamini says"Deep stuff, i get your point bt i dnt thnk watchng hs every move helps any thng or checking the phone. We al human if u cn do that whats to stop hm frm doing exctly the same thng. I thnk facebook is nt a relationshp place, great place to chat wit frnds bf stocking nt the idea behind fb. Let hm flirt, let hm cheat as long as he knw who u are n where u stand, i mean u dnt own hm right even u could stil met mr right at any point. Lets make jolling fun nt room to improve detactive skils. My thoughts at least... Spying on some1 i dnt own nt my cup of tea, i prefer them telling the truth whch cn happen if u friends first lovers later

  2. Lindi, what your saying makes sense and it's very genuine in that it's a human element, not to "spy" on you partner, but satisfy your natural curiosity. If you're involved with someone you ought to be intrigued and curious about details of their life...hence..."how was your day today honey" You see facebook's biggest threat is the inbox, unlike the phone inbox does not tie up with call log, so unless you're a psycho who steals your partners passwords...Inbox is the victor at the end of the day. What happens in there scares me. So for my own sanity, i don't even think bout it. Just trust your muntu i guess.

  3. True Joe True the inbox is SCAREY... and at the end of the day the best thing to do is to just trust its far better to be assured that you dont have to spy.

  4. Mbali your right and i know it should be that easy to just i'll try and just be i said to Joe assured and not go looking for trouble!