Falsehood of fairytales: the propaganda we internalise in our young years about men and relationships

In this day and age I am not too sure I like the idea of having my daughter being brainwashed by these fairytales, I am grateful that at present I have no children and more specifically to my area of anxiety I am appreciative I do not have a daughter to raise.


My anxiety can be rooted at the fact that I believe I would be compulsive about ensuring that I raise a strong, self aware daughter who has an accurate representation about what is important in life and what is false about the world. In my idealistic mind I know I want to make sure I guard the things that my child idolises. So in other words I would want very little of the fictional accounts of life, I would want very little television, I would impose strict and radical rules about ensuring my child has a greater advantage then myself in embracing the strength and not weakness of their sex and race.


I believe fairytales have an impact, at a tender age when you are learning about the world I think fairytales create a lens about what life should be like. A perspective that is hard to shake, an expectation that is not easily forgotten or tossed aside. I know these fairytales are just that whimsical pieces of literature that are meant to be easy to understand and heart tugging for the little ones. I do admit to loving the Cinderella story as a young girl but even that makes me uneasy at this point in my life because I know it had a lasting impact on my life. As a woman in my twenties I have never met a man who can measure up to the perfect prince charming but I expect it. Where is my happily ever after? I grew up believing that a ring, a man and a wedding was the measure and validation of a woman’s success. This as I continue to go about my life is not where and how I measure success any more (or at least I’m trying not to). This is still a prevalent perception in many cultures, we are who we are because we are socialised, and we are the reflection of the influences of our environment. The world has a lot to offer and women from a young age need to grasp that you can live a happy life, amount to great things and find happiness in having goals that don’t revolve around a man. Why was Repunzal stuck in some castle until some man came along. Snow White was brought back to life by the kiss of prince charming. I shudder at the psychological implications this has on us as women. It is for this reason that fairytale’s whose focal point of happiness is a man - that at some level women have come to internalise that they need a man to be happy. The things that we hold to value in our lives have changed over the years. Love has come to mean different things to different people, love comes in various forms. We live in times where women continue to strive to assert themselves as independent, happy in the traditional sense of marriage a husband and kids. As well as outside the traditional sense single mother, career woman, homosexual, single by choice. There are negative connotations that surround being a single lady about not having a man by your side. We live in a time where we need to have new fairytales, where we need to have new standards. Fairytales can be more reflective of the diversity that happiness takes shape in. Be aware of the impact that fairytales have had in the way that you view the world, don’t hold yourself to a standard of happiness that you do not need. With or without a partner you have the right to know and feel alright about your life.






By Lindi Khumalo