You know what I think that I have fallen for the "let’s go fifty fifty" female empowerment mantra way too much. I think it’s time I back track on that little philosophy because I see that it only actually applies to finances in relationships.
I don't see brothers (i.e. boyfriends, husbands, partners) going fifty fifty on the dishes, on the washing , on the cleaning, on the child-bearing and child birth on the pretty much everything that makes relationships work.
So why on earth should I feel that I am "empowered" by the fact that I make fifty percent contributions on financial matters? It seems to me that I am still doing more by actually going fifty fifty on this aspect. I have never asked for money from a partner and I don’t see a circumstance as a single lady (i.e. not married) where I would need to. Don’t get me wrong this still won’t change. What has changed is that I will no longer badly label women that have men do things for them. I think that I now I have come to reassess my beliefs on this matter and I do believe that I have a new found appreciation and respect for women that allow their man to do what men should do and that is be the provider.
Okay I know that for those of you that know me well you’re not buying it. Please though take the time to assess it with me. Women deserve to be given more in certain areas because we also give much more in other areas of the relationship.
So in as much as I can do it for myself be a man and do it for me! Women cover so many scores in a relationship. We work at it so much harder in my personal opinion. So I think it's okay for us to get over our qualms about being taken care of. My independent sisters I am indeed finding new respect for the ladies that have no guilt in the fact that their man pays for most of their living expenses he refuels the car, pays for the service, pays for their rent, cell phone bill, clothes, shoes, food, even for their hair trips to the salon. Why on earth not, we deserve to be treated with a higher sense of worth then meaningless words. It’s all in the actions am I correct? Love is a verb am I correct?
So yes this pertains to his actual treatment of you rather than just vocalising without action. It’s his consideration and thoughtfulness towards you. I think that it is considerate for a man to do, to give, and be accountable for his woman. It’s not gold digging its value for value. So in as much as we are strong women doing things for ourselves we want the kind of man that can do it because he loves us enough to not view it as being taken advantage of. It’s not a situation where I am going to force you or ask you, it’s a situation where you show me the strength of your ability to love me enough that you take care of me, and all areas that see to my well being.
So I guess I’m not looking for an equal partner, I guess I am changing my perceptions of a man's role. I will gladly allow you to take the position of head of the household but you have got to man up to the fact that this position is not one you take because it appeals to you to feel like you are in charge. You must in fact take charge. You must in fact take charge of the rent or mortgage, car payments, electricity, water and all facets my good man that honour that role. If it makes you happy your man should do it for you.
Instead of Burning bra’s to feel empowered the more tactical alert woman will burn her cheque book let a real man take care of that area right there.
Now there is a difference in situations there are circumstances where a man is trying to buy you, where you’re a gold digger and it’s not love. Situations where women are not motivated to do things for themselves. But if it is love, true and real I see no place where one can find this to be an unjust expectation from a man.
So my sisters I’m not completely there myself but I’m planting a seed of possibility that was imparted to me by a wise woman. It is fair to say it’s not wrong, not manipulative to let the financial arrangements fall on the man. Maybe you do all of the cooking, that’s seen as okay. Maybe you do all the cleaning and the washing, that’s seen as okay (even if you have a maid you oversee the process). You take care of yourself and go out of your way to please, nurture and satisfy him and all his needs, and that’s okay. So how is it not okay to let go of the finances? So in my view it is a fair stance then to say, I do not want to go fifty fifty on a relationship because it’s unfeasible. There are things I see to and there are things he sees to.
Here’s my take what’s yours?
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